Couch Sprinter Gifts

Man Runs to the Television to Zap it Off.

Low-Energy Drinks

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Binge Watch

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Ah, business as usual.'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

Runner's High, Runner's Low

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"When did this game get started?"

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.