Couch Sprinter Pillows

Man Runs to the Television to Zap it Off.

Low-Energy Drinks

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

Binge Watch

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Ah, business as usual.'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

Runner's High, Runner's Low

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

He won't stop talking about being the fastest ever. He's a broken record about breaking a record.

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"When did this game get started?"

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."