Couch Surfers Gifts

The Amiable Reaper.

"Without ever leaving the comfort of your own home."

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

"My feet are getting tired. Do you suppose that we could finish this online?"

Low-Energy Drinks

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Binge Watch

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up! Cat alert system.

Watchdog

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

'World Cup? Nobody told me there was a football match on!'

World Cup reactions

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee

Hank had been asleep for hours, but amazingly his clicker finger kept going.

Out-of-Homebody experience.

'Tonight, one of you is going home.'

"Donald switched off in 1985 and i never bothered to switch him on again."

'You don't have to stay in a motel. I have a couch you can rent.'

2013: psychoanalysis is formally declared a scam.

"You know, I'm beginning to think that I'm not destined for greatness."

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"