Couch Coach Gifts

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

Burger Discus

"You'll have to watch the Super Bowl another night. I've got shopping channel fever."

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

"Henry never makes it past the fifth hole."

DIVORCE COURT, 'What? -- You hid the remote during the SUPERBOWL!'

Football slave

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

'Can I watch the game at your house? My wife charges a personal seat license fee to sit in front of our TV!'

"The NFL syas 25% of players will face brain damage in the future."

"We've got it all covered...the cricket, the tennis, the soccer and the other one is for Team Australia."

"What is it with football and this drinking culture?"

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

"Have we scored yet?"

Captive Audience.

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"I watch sports on television. Does that count?"

"How come you have this sudden interest in sport?"

'You could learn a thing or two from them. They're not abducting me until after the game is over.'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

'He can't come to the phone right now, he's watching the football.'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Dominate wife telling husband that he shouldn't be weak

'I have to watch this game. It's the only one on.'

'He was pretending to be playing for Manchester United when he collapsed with exhaustion.'

"The Browns are the only team in the NFL to have a malpractice squad."

"Do I belive in ESP...I thought you siad ESPN."

'Well, they may be out of of time outs, but you aren't. Raise your feet!'

"Don't worry...Daddy will be back when the football bowl season is finally over."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Apparently the Jets thought the season was virtual."

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

"Don’t tell Mommy, but it’s OK to use swear words during the playoffs."

TV-Man