Tv Couch Coach Gifts

"It's the umpire - he's throwing you off that channel."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

TV-Man

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Binge Watch

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team