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"It's the umpire - he's throwing you off that channel."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

TV-Man

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Binge Watch

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'