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"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"No, just hear him out. Maybe we are being too defensive."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

"When did this game get started?"

"Right-ho, Jeeves!"

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

"I am a control freak."

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

'I'm working on the report for the third quarter as we speak.'

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"