Couch Adventurers Gifts

Spiro & Pusho watching TV whilst on a hike.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

Remember when?... When was that?

Eventual Motion Machine

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch your slippers?"

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

Sale. We need something that will meet our growing backsides.

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

Canoe Carriers

'Don't hurt it.'

Bill's well-being saw a marked improvement once he traded his life coach for a life couch.'

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"