Couch Adventurers Gifts

Spiro & Pusho watching TV whilst on a hike.

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

Remember when?... When was that?

Eventual Motion Machine

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch your slippers?"

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

Canoe Carriers

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"What I don't understand is why people waste their time writing when they might not get published,."