Couch Potato Laugh Pillows

'By the way, do you have any beer?'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

It's hammerhead time

Campaign 2016

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

The "staring back at you" channel

"I'm afraid that walking to the refrigerator 5 or 6 times a day does not count as exercise."

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

'May I tidy up the infield?'

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

"If you really loved me, you'd give me the remote."

Success Without Effort

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.

'Tommy move, I can't see the screen.'

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

"There's no use in hiding. The smart treadmill knows you're home. You might as well go get your workout clothes on."

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

'No need to worry about the volcano - it's not very active.'