Couch Potato Comedian Pillows

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"You had to go one better, didn't you?"

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

'Are you enjoying watching the telly off, on demand?'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

The "staring back at you" channel

"This isn't what the doctor meant when he recommended adopting a Mediterranean diet."

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

'May I tidy up the infield?'

"I'm afraid that walking to the refrigerator 5 or 6 times a day does not count as exercise."

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

"If you really loved me, you'd give me the remote."

Success Without Effort

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

'You'd be good at yoga. The first thing you do is empty your mind.'

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.