Couch Potato Comedian Pillows

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"You had to go one better, didn't you?"

'Are you enjoying watching the telly off, on demand?'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'May I tidy up the infield?'

"This isn't what the doctor meant when he recommended adopting a Mediterranean diet."

"I'm afraid that walking to the refrigerator 5 or 6 times a day does not count as exercise."

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

The "staring back at you" channel

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

Success Without Effort

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

"If you really loved me, you'd give me the remote."

"There's no use in hiding. The smart treadmill knows you're home. You might as well go get your workout clothes on."

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.

"Being a lazy slob is part of my identity. Keep on nagging and I'll report you to our diversity officer!"