Couch Potato Humorist Pillows

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'No need to worry about the volcano - it's not very active.'

"Hey, we should totally move to Canada."

'Hello, 911? It's my husband! I don't know what's wrong with him. He said there's nothing on TV and he just wants to talk!'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"I've bought a remote control, that even you can't lose."

'Don's always been a model husband. Unfortunately, not a working model.'

Success Without Effort

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

"If you really loved me, you'd give me the remote."

"You know I'd help if it weren't for my bum knee."

'The satellite's going out again!'

"While I'm away, remember to feed the dog."

Bob always voted for his favorite performance. It was his way of giving something back.

Welcome to the 'I've got nothing better to do with my life than watch the crap on TV' channel.

Grave with satellite dish.

"Hey, wake up! We're not that bad and boring!!"

"It was a mistake for me to stop roaming the plains: I've put on a lot of weight..."

Instead of a beer belly, Tom had a beer shoulder.

"I bet you can't do that- paint your toe-nails without bending your knees!2

"Back row, day-dreaming, never put his hand up, that was your Dad."

Trash Test Dummy

"Is that the amount of time you have to get to the refrigerator and back before the game starts again?"

"But it's peak viewing time. I feel guilty not having the TV switched on..."

"What a terrible night on telly, I didn't find one thing offensive."

"I'm guessing you remembered mother's coming to lunch."

Boxing clever

"Are you in denial about how much trashy TV and junk food you consume?"

Prisoner

"You claim you walk 20 feet, 10 times a day. I'm guessing that's the distance from your TV to the refrigerator."

"Chair to refrigerator. . .I no longer need to track your phone. Your location is pretty consistent."

"You bought another workout DVD? Giblets of Steel?"