Couch Potato Humor Pillows

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'He's only hired to do the run. I still do the cool down.'

Bottleopener.

"I just think that if I don't do anything memorable, it will be less I'll have to remember when I get dementia."

500 channels and still ntohing we haven't seen before!

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

"I'm afraid that walking to the refrigerator 5 or 6 times a day does not count as exercise."

"There's no use in hiding. The smart treadmill knows you're home. You might as well go get your workout clothes on."

"He wanted to be buried how he lived his life."

"Bradford was more of a death recliner than a death bed kind of guy."

"All this swearing and violence."

'Let's have the Athletics on, luv - the doc sez I need more exercise!'

'May I tidy up the infield?'

Bachelor of Science

'It's a 24 hour telethon to raise awareness for conserving electricity.'

The alien's gift of telekinesis was wasted on Alf.

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

'I didn't think channel surfing was enough, so I decided to add web surfing to my exercise regimen.'

"A mobile phone is wasted on you."

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'

'He's a constant worry - he could do himself an injury with that bottle-opener.'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Unconditional Loveseat

Homo Zapiens

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'