Couch Potato Chuckles Pillows

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

It's hammerhead time

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

Campaign 2016

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"There's the remote!"

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

'May I tidy up the infield?'

The "staring back at you" channel

"I'm afraid that walking to the refrigerator 5 or 6 times a day does not count as exercise."

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

"If you really loved me, you'd give me the remote."

Success Without Effort

"There's no use in hiding. The smart treadmill knows you're home. You might as well go get your workout clothes on."

'Tommy move, I can't see the screen.'

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.

"He's told them many a time, not to let defenders shoot, but do they take any notice. . ?"

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

'You'd be good at yoga. The first thing you do is empty your mind.'

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

"I need a companion."

'No need to worry about the volcano - it's not very active.'