Couch Potato Jokes Pillows

To be really healthy, I think it would take more than switching beers...

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Homo Zapiens

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Unconditional Loveseat

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Where does the teacher get this? Wilbur shows no motivation in class!'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

Campaign 2016

It's hammerhead time

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

"He's fine, Ma'm."

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

Hey, I could get used to this couch potato thing.

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

"There's the remote!"

'I wish to lose all excess weight.'