Cotton Connoisseur Gifts

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Curling your hair for no reason

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Sorry, I can't come: Young Master has joined the scouts and tied me up with a fancy knot I can't work out...'

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Vincent Van Goat.

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Curtains haberdashery

"You know damn well what noise!"

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Before Art School. During Art School. After Art School

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

'How does this one feel?'

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"