Carpet Connoisseur Gifts

'Carpets' 'Try before you buy'

'Wall-to-wall carpets go on the floor, not on the walls.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"The Hendersons have just had a new carpet fitted - so no accidents please. . ."

"I had the most marvellous dream last night. The whole world was done over in wall-to-wall carpeting."

Biggo Carpet Co.: 'Out cutting a rug'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

bird interprets modern art

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'Anorak anoraks'.

Binge Watch

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Goal!"

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Vincent Van Goat.

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Curtains haberdashery

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"I see a couch."

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

Landscape Artists

"I'm sick and tired of black."

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"