Carpet Connoisseur Gifts

'Carpets' 'Try before you buy'

'Wall-to-wall carpets go on the floor, not on the walls.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"The Hendersons have just had a new carpet fitted - so no accidents please. . ."

"I had the most marvellous dream last night. The whole world was done over in wall-to-wall carpeting."

Biggo Carpet Co.: 'Out cutting a rug'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

bird interprets modern art

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Anorak anoraks'.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Binge Watch

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"Goal!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

Vincent Van Goat.

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Curtains haberdashery

"I see a couch."

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

E-Z Livin'

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."