Carpet Cleaner Aficionado Gifts

"Yes, one of my husbands IS an imposter, but one can get stains out of the carpet and the other can bake, so it all works out."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Sweep the board.

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Waiting for Pants

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

'But you said to clean my room.'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

'George! This way quick!'

Dust Bunny

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

Niche Extracurriculars

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said to clean your room.'

"The mold cleaners are here! I gotta scram."

Cleaning up space junk.

Floor Cleaner

"That one killed my manservant, it fell on his head while he was vacuuming the carpet."

"Hello job security."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

Carpet Cleaner.

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'The first time I met her, she practically swept me off my feet!'

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

'Only the high-traffic path needs cleaning - from the couch to the bar.'

Hospital Cleaning.

Magic Carpet Cleaning

"That loft has needed sorting out for years, at least you've had time to do the job properly!!"