Carpet Enthusiast Gifts

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

'...and to my miserable son, Pruitt, I leave all my hideous lime-green wall-to-wall carpet remnants.'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'I said shag carpeting.'

Office carpets,putting green type.

'I like your taste in lobby carpeting.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Posh Easter Egg

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

King Madras

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"We need to talk."

Man who has called of his engagement because his fiancée did not match his furniture.

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'The old one fell apart.'

'Edwin, I hop you'll come home in a good mood. The decorators hung the new wallpaper today.'

"And remember the rule: when the carpet is old, that's when we hold, when the carpet is new, that's when we spew!"

Genie Gets a Good View on the Beach.

"Norman, let's lend out the Olmec head."

'I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.'

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

"I love fruit."

Dare to Soar. Believe. Dream. Live Simply. One Day at a Time. I think we need a platitude adjustment.

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

The hazards of Cleaning a Magic Carpet