Carpet Lover Gifts

'Remember when we laughed when he said he'd deliver!'

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Any child left longer than ten minutes past last bell will be given a free kitten.'

Balloon Surprise

God save the Queen.

Cat Lover's Leap.

Velvety. And so was the wine.

Rainbow skier

Art gallery: 'I think it's lovely.'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

Jude Law.

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

"You said to pack only the essentials, and this couch is essential for my afternoon naps."

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

"And remember the rule: when the carpet is old, that's when we hold, when the carpet is new, that's when we spew!"

Penguins walking through a rainbow.

"You're proposing to me with a flea collar?!"

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

"Trust me, you won't miss the air when you see this closet space."

'Where is it written that I can't wear a Hawaiian shirt?'

"Wow, you're right, Alpaca Wool is very nice against the skin..."

Trainspotting.

'It all started when I took a Rorschach test.'

Rainbow Drinks

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'

'It's the latest weave - comes off in the hand.'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'