Carpet Lover Gifts

'Remember when we laughed when he said he'd deliver!'

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'Any child left longer than ten minutes past last bell will be given a free kitten.'

Balloon Surprise

God save the Queen.

Cat Lover's Leap.

Art gallery: 'I think it's lovely.'

Velvety. And so was the wine.

Rainbow skier

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

"You said to pack only the essentials, and this couch is essential for my afternoon naps."

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

"Trust me, you won't miss the air when you see this closet space."

"You're proposing to me with a flea collar?!"

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

"And remember the rule: when the carpet is old, that's when we hold, when the carpet is new, that's when we spew!"

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

'Where is it written that I can't wear a Hawaiian shirt?'

"Wow, you're right, Alpaca Wool is very nice against the skin..."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

Rainbow Drinks

Trainspotting.

'It all started when I took a Rorschach test.'

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'