Corporate Comic Appreciator Gifts

"Now, before I give my pat answer, does anyone else have any dumb questions?"

My severance package was an insult. It's not about the money, it's about how little I can buy with the money.

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

Big Fish Packing Co - Our Flounder.

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

Business Promotion.

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

'Stop complaining and be thankful we found a place for you in the restructuring!'

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

Boss encouraging employees to invest as company goes down hill

Group of people.

"Your biggest challenge as our new manager, will be how to manage on the salary we'll be paying you."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

'Since you're not happy here, we're moving you over there.'

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

"I started at the bottom and worked my way up to not caring."