Corporate Comic Enthusiast Gifts

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

"You'll soon fit in!"

"This report to the shareholders….Which is the misinformation and which is the disinformation."

"By the way, while you were off sick we located the bottle neck."

"Ooo, I can get the entire compliance team all at one time."

"I was hoping for a more positive mission statement."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Please bring in a copy of the company report... rolled up.'

'Have you patched up that quarrel with the boss yet'

"...I'd like to remind you I never wanted to be sales manager in the first place."

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

'I'm moving you up from senior executive to aged executive.'

'The buck stops here except for felonies.'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

"You must admit, we're a very reliable company."

'We're looking for next generation leaders so we're replacing you with a fetus.'

'That's the gist of it, yesterday we heard the jast of it, and tomorrow I hope we hear the last of it.'

"I'm worried. Jack went to ask the boss for a raise and a temp came back to his desk."

'I don't have any friends.' - 'You've fired them all.'

"I want you to write a report on how much this company will save if I fire you."

"Harv, Ms Lane is our VP in charge of unpleasant, thankless jobs..."

Didn't that fancy business college I sent you to teach you anything dishonest?

'These X-rays are good, Mr. Sanderson, but I think we could tell more about you from a resume.'

'I'm not usually one for extravagant gestures - but you're fired.'

"We're moving you from payroll to fear and paranoia."

A cleaner cleaning the office after executive conference.

'I'd like you to meet my assistant... which one of you is my assistant and which one of you is his replacement?'

'I've proved to the company I can make the tough rationalizations.'

Boss: 'Yes, I did say you had potential - the problem is you don't seem to have quite as much of it as I originally thought you did!'

"All those in favor of getting even drunker and blowing lunch on the working class, say 'Aye!'."

"I've penciled you in, Haskins, and I can eraser you out."

"I'll take care of it impersonally."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'