Corporate Comic Aficionado Gifts

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

I had an executives worst nightmare. My golden handcuffs prevented me from opening my golden parachute.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

Office pics on dinner table.

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

Thesaurus Company

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

The role of administration.

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.