Corporate Comic Aficionado Gifts

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

I had an executives worst nightmare. My golden handcuffs prevented me from opening my golden parachute.

"This position has become very important to the company."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

Office pics on dinner table.

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

Thesaurus Company

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

The role of administration.

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'