Corporate Comic Lover Gifts

'Wear this on the train, it's better than people knowing you're a banker.'

"It's time to write a new and exciting chapter in the history of our firm. Chapter eleven."

'We're streamlining efficiency by cutting the staff we employed to improve efficiency.'

'Let me rephrase that. Go home and sleep on it.'

"We've managed to outsource training to a company that will say 'yes sir,no sir' for 20% less."

'We're not clear who is running your company.'

"The boss says I've exceeded his low expectations of me!"

"Of course there are still a few loose ends, funding...pensions...workload, but the good news is that we have got a concrete proposal for the new PCO letterheads!"

'Your sales are down again this month. For a guy raised by a pack of wolves you're not very bloody aggressive.'

"I said you should take some initiative. I didn't say you could take it all."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

Risk Management Corp

'Since you're not happy here, we're moving you over there.'

"You mind punching out first?"

"Done with the evaluations? Great! Now let's evaluate the evaluations!"

"I see by your resume that I should have looked at it before inviting for an interview."

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'You've reached Human Resources automated phone service...'

'All in favor for taking credit for this stuff?'

'What gives you the idea we're on a sinking ship?'

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

"Can't we talk this over?"

Bloato Corporation: The Soft Underbelly of Outdated Corporate Thinking for Over Fifty Years.

"Pretend to ask for a raise."

"What part of 'You're fired' is it you don't understand?"

"When does my raise become effective?"

"We must be going in the right direction... I can hear baying for blood"

"My new business model is to ride on the coattails of somebody else's new business model."

"Do you want that under 'any other business'?"

"Oh, my God. Old people."

"Your job performance is excellent, but surveillance video shows you've developed bad posture and an alarming facial tic."

'Take a letter and some numbers, Miss Jensen.'

"The board members have expressed concerns over these ratios."

"All right! We'll hear the pester-power figures next."

"Just tell anyone who asks that you won the bid for this project. And don't address me as 'Dad'."