Corporate Comic Fan Gifts

-"I finished the project on time and on budget!" -"Right, next project you get less time and less money!"

'In all fairness, you did ask for feedback.'

"Johnson, look at the lilies of the field. They neither spin nor toil. Fire them."

'We've misplaced your personnel file somewhere, Osgood, so I'm afraid I'll have to let you go.'

"Why do I always have to look for you?" "A good worker is hard to find."

"What would a competent person do?"

"I know it's awkward with me being the new boss and all....but when you meet me in the halls, don't act like I'm going to eat you alive."

'He's been brought in to give the business more direction.'

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

'I used to love being on work sites with him, but since his promotion, he has a desk-job...'

"We'd have been here sooner, R.L., but my junior partner threw a shoe."

"Our incentive plan is quite simple. Do your job and we won't fire you."

"When I said you need to change I didn't mean it into ME!"

"It's a report form the consultancy firm, they say it will help clarify things."

Armstrong Maynard, proprietor of our humble cafe, is swept up in merger frenzy. Armstrong says we're taking over the little guy. We are the little guy. There are littler. Even he wouldn't ... I'm taking you out. I don't wanna be acquired. Lemonade 50¢

"And remember Henderson, my door's always open... Do you think you could get someone to fix that?"

"Sorry, we have to let you go. You've grown too tall for our cubicles."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

Personnel. Let's see what some of your former bosses say about you. Hmm ... This one says you stunk. That was normal, it was a fertilizer plant! And this one describes your work as up and down. That's good! It was a trampoline factory! Don't overlook the boss who gave me a performance review! Hey, you're absolutely right! But, unfortunately, that came when you were a safety officer at the nuclear power plant!

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Level with me, Preston...are you on performance enhancing drugs?'

'They didn't kick me upstairs after all -- they threw me down the elevator shaft!'

'I hear they bought out Winken, Blinken and Nod.'

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

'Come along, Caswell, we have a new slot for you in accounting.'

'Work production rose significantly once we closed all the curtains in the windows.'

"His ability to shoulder all the blame makes him irreplaceable."

'I get a kick out of saying 'no'.'

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

Diagram of Authority

Ace Temps - We specialize in providing 'scapegoats' for business & government.

"The Boss Secretary!! That's what I call an in-house publication!"

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'