Corporate Culture Comic Fan Gifts

'Pradeep's in the lead with 326 no replies, 347 hang-ups within three seconds, 576 'Not Interested's and 1837 ***** off's...'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

Let's Celebrate

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

Take me to your market leader.'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"You've all been like a company to me."

"Money is life's report card."

'You're resigning? What great timing! I was going to lay you off friday!'

'To satisfy our stockholders, we'll draw stars to see which of us will be hung in effigy.'

"I'm sending you to Siberia. Your job is remaining here."

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'