Corporate Culture Fan Gifts

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

Merry Christmas!

'Not now, Harry. I'm on hold.'

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

"So Jones really did take the stairs."

Proposed Merger

"This is Ms. Watkins, a vital member of our greet staff."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

Power Lunch. . . Power's Out Lunch.

'Me? I'm just visiting from the company next door.'

"That's where I do 'my business'."

'The only reason I called you into my office is to find out who are you?'

"You've all been like a company to me."

'The government is running this country like nobody's business.'

Let's Celebrate

"I miss the good old days when I was the rainmaker."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"At this office no two days are different."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"We have an acronym!"

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."