Corporate Comic Admirer Gifts

"We've lowered our IPO price so many times, the Street's referring to it as an Initial Pathetic Offer."

"I'm leaving the company. I want to spend less time with my family."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

Thesaurus Company

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

'If people who have sudden ideas really had light bulbs over their heads, it would be very dark in here.'

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

Group of people.

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

'Stop complaining and be thankful we found a place for you in the restructuring!'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

"Look at them over there, looking all smug with their clients and accounts and stuff."

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

'Since you're not happy here, we're moving you over there.'