Corporate Comic Enthusiasts Gifts

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

"What are they complaining about...the work is challenging,interesting, demanding..." "AND we let them do it for 80 hours a week"

"Remember, tomorrow is 'Bring Your Ambition to Work Day',"

"Now let's check our ethical hats in at the door and get some bloody work done."

We're going to have to let you go. Consistance with standard accounting procedures, we will give you a severence package and an honorable discharge

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

'Do we want to apply for a credit card that plays the song 'Money Makes The World Go Around' every time it is swiped?'

Business Promotion.

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'