Corporate Comedy Appreciator Gifts

'You need a marketing strategy!'

'I want you all to use Bloom here as a role model. His loyalty to this firm for nearly three weeks is inspiring.'

'I'd have my people call your people... but people are all in jail.'

'Miss Webley, dump all our bailout funds into my offshore account, but make it look like an accident.'

"And this graph illustrates how our merger talks are going with Behemoth Industries."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

The Pink Bantha

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

Office pics on dinner table.

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."