Corporate Comedy Appreciator Gifts

'You need a marketing strategy!'

'I want you all to use Bloom here as a role model. His loyalty to this firm for nearly three weeks is inspiring.'

'I'd have my people call your people... but people are all in jail.'

'Miss Webley, dump all our bailout funds into my offshore account, but make it look like an accident.'

"And this graph illustrates how our merger talks are going with Behemoth Industries."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Office pics on dinner table.

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'