Corporate Satire Appreciator Gifts

'May I tell him what this is regarding?...'

'When you do get ahold of him, find out where all the money went.'

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

"This is my floor."

Charles P. Muckenspucker - Mission Creep.

Big Fish Packing Co - Our Flounder.

Middle Manager

'I prefer intimidation to efficiency.'

Boss encouraging employees to invest as company goes down hill

Avoid talking about personal and domestic issues at interviews, unless asked.

"Don't do anything rash! It would have a terrible effect on the company's stock."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Born In Captivity.

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Another day at work would be one too many...

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'