Corporate Satire Enthusiasts Gifts

'My mom says it's okay to talk to strangers as long as they're not Accountants or CEOs.'

Lemonade Stand Becoming Starbucks

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

'Frenzy Corp: 20,000 people in 14 countries working themselves into a flippin' nervous breakdown so that your every whim is satisfied.

'Our first order of business is to find where the peanuts are kept.'

"...And, while fortunately, I am not losing my job...my heart goes out to those who are!"

"Since the reorganization, they're still trying to figure out what to do with J.B."

Bezos goes home

"I think we need a mission statement."

"Miss Pritchard, send in a bucket of water!"

'My God! It's Fradon, Burns, Marcus, Busino and Fuller!'

"Granted it would save countless lives - but to what end?"

'Customer-Focused means any money we save from your salary will be passed on to our customers.'

'They're offering $5 billion for our engineering division? How much would that be in herring?'

"It's with a heavy heart that I'm stepping down as C.E.O."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"