Office Comic Appreciator Gifts

Jack and the Bean Counter

Complaints, needless complaints and complaints including threats of violence.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

Management Reshuffle

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'Sorry'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

New, Improved Cat

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

'He's busy right now. I have to put you on hold. Would you like to hear show tunes, classical or easy listening?'

'Your good work leaves me in a splendid position. Isn't that enough reward for you?'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."