Office Comic Appreciator Gifts

Jack and the Bean Counter

Complaints, needless complaints and complaints including threats of violence.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

New, Improved Cat

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

'He's busy right now. I have to put you on hold. Would you like to hear show tunes, classical or easy listening?'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'Your good work leaves me in a splendid position. Isn't that enough reward for you?'

'Any awards or honors other than bowling trophies?'

'A bit of shush please, I'm about to write them a damn stiff memo!'