Workplace Comic Appreciator Gifts

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

Indecision and Outrage Trays

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'