Corporate Buyout Gifts

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Under new blame.

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"Benign so far."

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

'How are you at takeovers?'

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

'Should our firms merge, which one will be the girl?'

'We've decided you should go think outside the company.'

"How does this sound: 'Single, nearly solvent company seeks relationship with like-minded, prosperous multinational.'"

"The employees from the two companies are adapting very well to the merger. I wish I could say the same about the computer systems!"

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."