Corporate Takeover Gifts

The merger almost didn't go through.. I had to throw my wife in.

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'You can take over Smelton and Company but you can't take over Smelton.'

Under new blame.

'It's a good offer. I just don't think we should jump at the first one.'

Agricultural Businessman.

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Welcome to the Team

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Parade of Businessmen

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."