Corporate Acquisitions Gifts

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Amazon buys MGM Studios...

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

Under new blame.

Takeovers.

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

Why am I running?

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

"Benign so far."

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?