Company Acquisition Gifts

'Takeover is such a harsh word, Harris, let's just say that your people are now my people.'

'We're doing great trade with China - they've bought the company.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

Anheuser-Busch agrees to US$52 billion sale.

'By the way, dear, you might like to know...my investment club now owns 51% of your company.'

"All the beer I can drink in a year? That's the buyout?"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

Our company got swallowed up, but they spat me out.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Under new blame.

Takeovers.

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."