Acquisitions Gifts

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

CEO to board: 'What's wrong?! We haven't gobbled up a company this whole week!'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

Fish and color

Takeovers.

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

'There's enough of us...we can take them!'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?