Acquisitions Director Gifts

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

Fish and color

Under new blame.

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

'To satisfy our stockholders, we'll draw stars to see which of us will be hung in effigy.'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

Phil, I'm just too depleted to function. I need to take the afternoon off and recharge my batteries.

'A merger will enable us to have more people to blame.'

Cut directors pay in half and stop all share options - "Right, now, tell me about Plan 'B'."

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

'I told you, if the LA branch steals our thunder, there is no more dialogue.'

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"