Company Takeovers Gifts

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I've been working remote so long I didn't know my company has been bought and sold three times."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

Under new blame.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

"Benign so far."

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

"I always cry at mergers."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'I'm downsizing in hopes of a merger.'

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."