Takeovers Gifts

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

'It appears that Megalamp Industries, a conglomerate, wants to take over our family.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

Under new blame.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

Food van driving through an office.

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'Someday, Son, this will all be your problem.'

...the onion rings

'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'

"I brought you up here today, son, because I wanted you to get a feel for the scope of this damned thing."

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."