Takeover Tacticians Gifts

'When we take over a company, we take the lot.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

Lynching on social media

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Takeovers.

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

"That was a rumor day."

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

ISIS needle in a haystack.

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

Human males marking territory.

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'