Hostile Takeover Tactician Gifts

'On the other hand, they could just be the sort of bold and aggressive management this firm needs.'

Tariff Wars

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Tariffs"

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

125% tariff in escalating trade war.... ...Mitch realizes that everything he ordered is made in China

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Comparing the headlines of three different New York based newspapers.

'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

I'm gonna buy your stinkin' company...

'Man, I hate it whenever some big conglomerate comes along and decides to check us out!'

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"Richard just came in - he must have had a board meeting."

Theresa May and Brexit

'We've come to invade your privacy.'

'Your job is to make sure the contract is not fair to all parties.'

'The negotiations would go quicker if you'd stop flicking lit matches at me.'

'When we take over a company, we take the lot.'

Heroes of the Afghan War

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"Spoilsports"

'I'd like you to go work for our competition. It's the only way I know to bring them to their knees.'

"Remember me? I'm the guy you fired three years ago.. Guess where I'm working now!"

Confusing the Enemy's Sense of Direction