Hostile Takeover Gifts

'The negotiations would go quicker if you'd stop flicking lit matches at me.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

Under new blame.

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

Why am I running?

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

National corporate ladder of success monument.

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

"How does this sound: 'Single, nearly solvent company seeks relationship with like-minded, prosperous multinational.'"

'Someday, Son, this will all be your problem.'

'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'