Business Takeover Gifts

'Have you been enjoying your buyout?'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

Under new blame.

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'I'm confident that with the right mix of role-playing exercises and prescription medication we'll make a cohesive team.'

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'

No - None sense, take-charge, inc. - Formerly: Happy-go-lucky, inc.'

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

'Could you be more specific than a king's ransom or an arm and a leg.'

'Cards for all occasions: takeover, buyouts, mergers, flotation, bankruptcy.'

Untrustworthy partner