Hostile Takeover Enthusiast Gifts

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"I'd say Corporate Raiders."

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Old hippie gives peace sign.

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Dialed the number, ordered the tapes and placed hundreds of little ads. Didn't hit a snag until step four: Just sit back and rake it in.

'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'

In a stock brokers, the lift buttons for up and down have bulls and bears on them.

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

I'm gonna buy your stinkin' company...

'Man, I hate it whenever some big conglomerate comes along and decides to check us out!'

'I like the way his conscience doesn't get in the way of his profit motive.'

The Dark Side of the Lone Ranger

Man sees pull cord: 'It must be one of those start-up companies.'

What is possible...

'Your job is to make sure the contract is not fair to all parties.'

"Dot com, dot go, now I got - no dough."

'The three essentials for any work of art are content, composition, and how envious it makes the neighbors.'

'The negotiations would go quicker if you'd stop flicking lit matches at me.'

"The Heavens Will be Mine."

"I see...and any ideas other than Supreme Leader of the Universe?"

We thought we'd put in the details later!

'Have you been enjoying your buyout?'

"Have you tried visualizing owning a goose that lays golden eggs?"