Tech Takeover Fan Gifts

"Google snapped up my homework for 3 billion dollars."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

My url is: http:/how:/um:/powwow.co.chiese.html.

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"It's from the Facebook company. They're buying out every messaging platform."

"It appears you have a virus."

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."

'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"I looks like a Martian dropped their phone. And by the size of it, I hope they're friendly."

Microsoft Merger

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

Milkshake Shortage

Donald Trump/Elon Musk

Escalator joust.

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

"It's my selfie stick. But I look a lot more attractive from a distance."

'We had a leveraged buyout today, and I was the fulcrum!'

'How many more days until we let them know it's just a joke?'

"But I'm hot on the trail of my Google doppelgänger."

"The game's over. Will you switch it back to our home security cam?"

'We can't just ignore it. At the very least, let me touch it up in Photoshop.'

Selfie Extension Stik