Takeover Tactician Gifts

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

I'm gonna buy your stinkin' company...

'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'

'Man, I hate it whenever some big conglomerate comes along and decides to check us out!'

"But what leverage can Viking Systems have to force this merger on us?"

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

"That was a rumor day."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

"A Japanese company will deliver them to us for �6.75 a thousand."

Institutions Controlling Money

ISIS needle in a haystack.

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"Whither NATO?"

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"He only made first four installments."

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

Arsene Wenger