Company Merger Gifts

One man thinking 'merger', the other thinking 'takeover'.

A fight in the Boardroom.

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'I assumed when we merged that we'd have our own desk.'

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"I always cry at mergers."

"And do you, Forbrush Industries, take Smuthers Manufacturing?"

'You're the reason I can't charge anything for goodwill when I sell the business.'

'This is our merger plan.'

'Cards for all occasions: takeover, buyouts, mergers, flotation, bankruptcy.'

'Under New Management- Everybody must go!'

'Man, I hate it whenever some big conglomerate comes along and decides to check us out!'

'As far as I'm concerned, the only thing this merger has going for it is the approval of the S.E.C.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

'I'm all in favor of merging, but how tacky can we get?'

"He assured me the merger is nothing to worry about."

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'

'My mother is always bugging me about finding a nice company for merging.'

'Now that our companies have merged and we're all sleeping in the same bed so to speak...I suggest we do just that!'

Real High Tech, Inc: 'Under New Management. . . Under Newer Management.'

'Your two o'clock to discuss teh merger is here.'

'We merged, then submerged. Now it's time for us to get out of the water, waddle onto the beach, and lay our eggs.'

'The hostile takeover wasn't as bad as I'd imagined. They hired someone to supply nuance.'

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

Welcome! Lukewarm, Inc...The happy merger of Red Hot, Inc & Ice Cold, Inc.

'The buildings are merging.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"You better send in 'cheerleading'."

Microsoft Merger

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'