Company Merger Anniversary Gifts

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

How leaders fail

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

Team Leader

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

Networking

The Salesman

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."